Realization of my existence by God

Hello beautiful soul,

Hope you are having great time. Had you ever thought of one question, “Why I exist?”, “What does God looks like?”, “What does energy of God feel like?”

Today I’ll tell you about my story of realization of my existence.


I heard that God is one, we just give different names to Him categorizing with different religions.

Had we ever seen God? NO…. Had we ever try to know who exactly GOD is?

In many religions even His name is not said full they call him G-D. But whatever you call Him, have you ever tried to find Him.

Since childhood I heard that GOD is one. You can call Him by any name. But, I wasn’t interested in giving name to Him, I want to see how actually the FATHER of ALL looks like. I wanted to see Him and meet Him.

If you want to know someone that desperately one day that person defiantly comes to meet you.

That is the same thing happened to me.

I actually didn’t saw Him but felt him.

The first time was when after my class 10th my father’s friend taught me what meditation was. He was instructing me while I was sitting on our dining table’s chair. He asked me to imagine that God is there in front of me and I am not requesting Him anything. At that time, I actually saw the Divine figure of Lord Vishnu. He was very large with many hands and I just cried in front of Him. After the whole meditation I considered that I finally saw God.

But I was wrong.

Each time I meditated and wanted to see the same figure I didn’t able to see that same great divine figure of Lord Vishnu. Every time, I saw different figures of different Gods. Sometime that vast figure becomes lord Ram, other times it was Lord Shiva. Sometimes He became Ma Durga, other times he played like the young Lord Krishna. Each time I saw different figures. And once while meditating, I saw Jesus Christ as well. I was young and amateur; I didn’t know what to look forward to. I just knew that I felt the same energy of that Divine power each time, no matter what face I was looking at.

Once I entered into the learning of Reiki, the faces were vanished. What was left in those meditations was the ENERGY. I felt the same energy in me.

I learnt that we all living and non-living beings have the same energy. That energy is the same of God’s energy, I felt in my earlier meditations.

When I started my journey as a psychic, after my father’s death, many new things opened up from envelop. I read books and gain back my psychic powers. I suddenly started seeing past of people during my angelic readings. I got the Divine power in me, which left me with the feeling of the same powerful divine energy I used to have.

I started talking to Angels, Archangels and Ascended Master. I have opened up a new chapter in my life. The knowledge of death became so easy, calm and joyful.

I was still in search of my own existence. What I am made of? Which energy of God is with me? Which name of God was I made up of?

There were so many weird questions; no one had ever thought I could have in my mind.

And then like another magic in my life, came this beautiful consciousness. On one warm July night of 2014, the electricity went off and the air conditioner was off. We were sleeping in the warm air of the fan in the room. I woke up at 2.30 am and wished to angels that electricity would be back so that we could have a peaceful sleep. Within 5 to 10 minutes the electricity was back. The air conditioner started cooling the room, but the sleep was gone far from my eyes. I was wide awake lying in bed near my sleeping son. I didn’t have anything in mind. But our mind keeps sending different thoughts. I had a thought and I asked God to answer me.

Suddenly, I started recapitulating the events of my life. The divine power was already there since childhood. With my birth as a girl the Goddess Laxmi silently entered our house. Very slowly the money started increasing. And with the birth of my sister Goddess Laxmi entered our family, the second time. Everyone knows Goddess Laxmi brings money with her. In our family it came very slowly. [So, I believe that every girl born is actually the incarnation of Goddess Laxmi.]


The money spent on me always came back. Sometimes it comes back double. But it comes so silently that no one could ever hear its footsteps. For people it may be the salary of my parents’ job, but from God it was the pay back.

Lying in that cool room that summer night I was hearing this thing in my mind. I actually understood my existence as Goddess. So, here is what I asked God.

“Why we lost our father so early in life?”

I started hearing this and the impressions in my inner eyes – You two girls had saved your father for so long. He might have left you earlier in life, but because of you two Goddesses in their life your parents were blessed with good time.

And after this I started feeling the truth.

After my marriage my healthy father had his first operation for stones. Later, with in 6 years of my marriage he left us.

At that moment I felt so guilty that I thought – if I hadn’t ever married my father would be alive. But then I heard the voice again. “The circle of life and death never stop. And one day he had to die. It was already decided. So, never feel guilty for these things.”

Later the new chapter started. I realized that although I was a girl who always blessed even the enemies, but if someone hurt my heart they had to pay back the painful way.

I realized that if someone hurt me they have to live the pain I had been through. So, I asked God to tell me why I am gaining bad karma by cursing and sending negative vibrations even when I just want blessings for others.


I saw Goddess Durga. I become conscious that I have become Goddess Durga for those bad energies. And like Durga I am just doing the assigned task for me. As Durga being a blessing Goddess finishes our negative energies, so am I being sent on this earth for many past lives to be Durga and to finish the negative energies of the people I live with.

I felt so powerful and got the SELF REALIZATION.

Almost all the questions are being answered. GOD is there in me as the power of ADI SHAKTI Goddesses Laxmi and Durga.

Those who send good vibes get beautiful blessing. And those who send bad vibes to me, for them even if I send blessings they become bad vibes.

Someone once told me that he can see the image of Goddess Durga in my aura. I now understand that it really is so.

Goddess Durga is in me and I am in her. We are one. And when we are one than why should I stop being a warrior.

My ego is being removed by her. The strength I had and which I used to think is my ego, I came to know is not my ego, but my actual strength. I have the anger for lies. I have tremendous anger towards bad activities and people. And it will come out one day by finishing off the devil. I am just in wait of the interference of Lord Shiva to calm my excess anger that needed to be removed.

Praying is the way that can help me. I now feel the calmness in my heart.


Self realization is difficult but when you realize the meaning why you are in this life, the life becomes easy. Hope like me everyone could get the realization of their existence.

I would like to read your story about any experience with God. Please share your incidents with energy of God.

Live in Light,



Kirtti is an Energy Alchemist who detects the negative energy of her clients and transform it into abundance with Spiritual Guidance. She is a Certified Life Coach. She is a Certified Reiki Master & Teacher, Realm reader, Master NLP Practitioner, and Hypnotist. In addition to this, she is an Intuitive Tarot & Oracle Card reader, Angel reader, Meditation Coach, Psychic and Medium. Her expertise is to bring on easy to consume and follow steps to come out of any problems.